Thursday, May 26, 2005

One year and I'm dripping in cloying honey, and I like it

You know what's weird about this romantic relationship of mine? Today celebrates a year (which I haven't had the experience of celebrating in more than seven) and I'm pretty free of anxiety. Me, who is anxious about whether I can pay my bills, whether my fish will still be alive when I get home from work, whether I will die penniless and alone having never accomplished any of my goals. I'm not anxious about D.Rae or how she feels about me. I just hate that I don't see her every day. I don't know if I've ever been in a situation that improves the more I see someone. I'm a big fan of space. And today I feel pretty comfortable slipping into the soft, snug-fitting clothes of someone who doesn't mind being disgustingly in love, who doesn't mind public displays of affection, or sticky-sweet declarations of everlasting carnal admiration and reciprocation. It's obnoxious, sure. But today I don't care. With her I don't care.

It's a nice thing to look in the mirror and like who you see a little more every day, feel a little more comfortable anywhere you walk. I think that's what makes a really satisfying relationship. When you really like who you are in it. And when you can start to think for once (if you're like me) that someone else's happiness can make you happy.

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