Brokeback Mountain: Where Is the Love?

We were anxiously awaiting our visit to the movie theater to see the the reportedly great gay love story
Brokeback Mountain. My first response was: Good, a gay relationship is acknowledged in the mainstream media as an actual romantic love story; then the thought: Thank God things are different now. But the next day, after some talking about it, I woke up thinking: But really, are things all that different? Matthew Sheppard's brutal murder happened remarkably recently. And then, where was the relationship for Ennis and Jack? Is an outing every few months a few times a year a "relationship"? That doesn't take away from the obvious torturous love, but in this day and age, haven't we heard this sad story enough? Or is this the first time the injustice of American society's homophobia is being looking at with a sympathetic arm wrapped around the homo couple?

Or is it? Why is Heath Ledger getting all the praise for portraying a character who is so afraid of his desire that he refuses to live life as a whole human being and dampens down any desire he has, and Jake Gyllenhaal being totally snubbed for playing a character willing to risk something for his love? Jake's character is the real queer, Heath's will never admit it. Is that why he is more sympathetic to the largely straight audience that is lauding the film?

I liked the movie. I see it as another Romeo and Juliet, in a way. Lovers kept apart for ridiculous reasons, simply because the people around them won't accept it. Also, it's like a Holocaust movie: let us pay homage to those who suffered in the past and vindicate them, legitimize their humanity. But what I don't buy is the liine about it being a great love story. It is a chronicle of pain and hatred and fear. It dangles love right behind the threat of murder. If you love like this, it seems to reinforce, be prepared to die for that love, that unnatural love. It is kind of a sucker punch when you go in expecting a love story where the main characters at least get to have some love.

Now here are the two things that stayed with me like sand kicked in my mouth ,and gritted against my teeth unpleasantly when I got up the next day.

1. In this day and age, don't we need some truthful images that are empowering, encouraging and loving? Does this movie also send a message to our attackers? That it is their duty to uphold their violent homophobia? Oprah Winfrey was talking to Dave Chapelle on her show last week about having some KKK guys on her show to "expose" them, and then she said she realized that what she was actually doing was spreading their message. She chose after that to present a world that she wanted to see. I think I want to see more of THAT kind of work and attitude in the future. It's also truthful to show success stories, and show those who fight against this hatred and win. What if Ennis had conquered his fear and let himself "ranch up" with Jack? What if they didn't have to die, emotionally or physically? And that's NOT a fantasy world. No, it's not. It's what a lot of people have done, and thank god for them, because they've helped a lot of us come out and live openly and pursue love. Embrace the love that takes hold of us instead of being tortured by it, wanting to quit the person who planted it in us.

2. On the movie's site, the only interactive section they have is a "share your stories" database. One guy told his "Brokeback" story: but he and his beau ran off together to Hawaii. They pursued Jack's dream, and here they are, alive and well. I feel like it's socially irresponsible to address such heavy-duty themes and not point the way to help, especially when hate crimes are alive and well all over this country. There's no light: you feel so alone and in danger after seeing this film. You feel like you're a target if you're gay. But so much progress has been made since then--couldn't they at least link to some coming-out hotlines, safehouses, or organizations to help with this kind of desperation? At LEAST pay some lip service. The world is changing. And we can help it keep changing. To be safer, more inclusive--at least offer more of a safety net and be out and proud and never be ashamed of who we love and let others love who they want to. It's a much brighter world if we condone all forms of love and do what we can to eradicate hatred.

Here are a couple of interesting links I found on a quick Google search:
I think I might be a lesbian:
http://www.youth.org/yao/docs/i-think-article-lesbian.html

I think I might be gay
http://www.youth.org/yao/docs/i-think-article-gay.html

Empowered = SEXY