Secret Messages

So I keep hearing Tom Waits' "Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis" at random points lately. (Just now, as I was about to shut the computer down, it came on as the new DJ came on for his shift on WWOZ, New Orleans' Own.) The version by Neko Case or the man himself. What kind of meaning can I squeeze out of that?

All Tardied Up Part 2: The Fabulous Jersey Shore

Hear me out. I'm utterly earnest in this: The Jersey Shore is truly a fabulous place to spend the summer -- and spend it we did. Donna and I got in her little orange 1973 SuperBeetle and headed down to Sandy Hook, Point Pleasant (the cleaner, Jersey version of Coney Island--you can get your palm read on the boardwalk, watch movies on the beach, visit the aquarium, after an awesome day of swimming in turquoise waters--believe it! [Sorry, no pics: too busy having an ultra awesome time!]) and Island Beach State Park at the slightest provocation. I have to say, 2007 was an awesome year for the beach.



ON THE DRIVE
You can get umbrellas, tchotchkes of all sorts, etc., etc. on the road to Sandy Hook. Sadly, we didn't buy this Ladypirate and her pet Monkeyboy, who resembles Eddie Munster. A bargain at 20 bucks--now I'm kicking myself! So, what I'm trying to figure out is if he's handing her LOOT or BOOZE. Either way, he's handy!








THE CLAM HUT
Sandy Hook is the best, though, because we always would end the day by hunting out the Clam Hut, and our favorite raw bar-man, BK, who is not only a gifted conversationalist and host, but also has great taste in music. We never want the normal menu, so we can hang out with BK for the whole night and chat. (Sorry this post has taken forever to go up, BK!) He even played the record by the dude who sang "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch," who is his pal and totally sounds like Lux Interior. I forgot the name of the band, though! It's something like Lounge-a...something. I'm a failure at remembering names. But I'm rich in aphorisms about failure...for example: "Success is just a shitload of failure warmed over." And "Success eventually follows all those grand fuck-ups." Yeah. Anyway, back to the beach adventure...






ON THE WAY HOME
You get ice cream. From the Napoli Brothers or from the illustrious DQ (the first job I ever had at the tender age of 14--so I have a soft spot for it). Mmmmmm, Dilly Bar! And those little punks better not fuck up my blizzard--I know the tricks. (And did you know the DQ made CAKES?! I had no idea till we stopped at this one near Sandy Hook.)





I HEART THE JERSEY SHORE!
And don't forget to stop at the superhuge rest stops named after American presidents. They have Nathan's Hot Dogs! And Starbucks, if you go in for that corporate kind of shit.

All Tardied Up: Mmmm...Mermaidy!

I've done fun things this summer when I haven't been working, but I haven't put them on my blog. So, I shall do my best to try to make that up.
Numero Uno: The Mermaid Parade
My awesome friend Erin Melina told me when she learned I was moving to NYC that I needed to pay a visit to Coney Island in the summer months and behold the glory that is the Mermaid parade. She was oh so right. And this year I had the great fortune to be in the very same Erin Melina's company. She was a goddess of the sea. Here are a few snaps of the glorious day in June at one of my favorite spots in the whole wide world.



And here's an awesome guy dressed as a Sea Monkey!

And let's not forget THIS GUY! (I also love the face on the dude behind him.)

Sometimes New York really is one big magic show.

The Nation Mourns...and My Dreams Are Dashed!

I just got the tragic news this week that the Weekly World News is about to close up shop. I'd always had fantasies as a college student of writing for them. Alien babies, Sasquatch in love, mutant children hiding out in caves...all from the "world's only reliable newspaper." My friend in college knew a guy who posed as a dwarf in love with a giant woman for the WWN. Not surprisingly, he was neither a dwarf nor did he know the woman in question. The WWN is/was so over the top it was one of the most entertaining rags ever. In truth, you could rely on its "news"--you always knew what you were getting: you always knew you'd see the worst Photoshopping ever; you always knew you'd read about literally in-credible stories of at least one supernatural event/creature; you always knew you'd have something to laugh about that you would repeat to your friends later. WWN created a "humor community" that had a stable of "reliable" parameters and touchstones, common language and values--if you could call them that. I don't think The Onion ("America's Finest News Source") would be what it is without the WWN. Would Stephen Colbert be as popular? Would The Daily Show?

I raise my glass to the finest in fake news as it breathes its last. Someone at work told me they saw one last copy in a Rite Aid--I'll have to run out and try to beat the masses that must be clamoring to get at it! Wish me luck!